Insecurity isn’t really different from uncertainty. However, when you are insecure, of what are you uncertain?
Insecurity is not healed by means of security. Insecurity boils down to uncertainty of identity.
Our happiness, love, and freedom are indelible qualities of our real nature. This is why we naturally move toward and seek those things.
If we seek those qualities externally, we either become insecure about losing them or anxious about securing them or some mix of the two. When we awaken to those immediate qualities within, there is peace.
This is the meaning behind the Buddha’s statement: It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
Your real nature does not need to be attained or sought after. It is enough to stop seeking yourself where you are not. Because love, freedom, and happiness are only the formless radiance of your being, you cannot “get” them elsewhere. As a result, you cannot lose them either!
Those forms of happiness which seem to come from elsewhere are subject to the impermanence of the circumstances that allowed them. Be it a relationship, a life situation, a job, or whatever. The happiness is only ever your radiant Being yet the confusion as to the place from which it comes is what makes insecurity possible.
When we start externalizing our experience of and search for happiness, freedom, and love, we also externalize our identity. We invariably derive a sense of self from that which we regard as the source of our happiness. If that source is threatened, we feel threatened, our identity feels threatened.
Whenever you feel insecure, don’t run away from it. Don’t try to drown it with security or attempts to affirm security through other people. Instead, investigate it. What makes this feeling possible?
The practice of tonglen helps to cultivate a presence of mind to stay with the feelings we would rather get rid of while instead meeting those feelings with spaciousness, ease, and compassion.
A great book with which to begin is The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron.
how much do islands cost i want one
Less than a college education
what the fuck
an island cost less than a house
How can I deal with insecurity? It's becoming a problem in my daily life & seriously affecting my relationship..
4.01 // 4.02
I went to a wedding recently.